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Coaching for Couples

The pioneering approach to creating fulfilling relationships



Nicole Wehden - Coaching for Couples Founder

Nicole Wehden


"Our sessions with Nicole have changed our lives in ways we couldn't believe"

Monique and Simon



AREAS COVERED

Teddington, Richmond, Twickenham, Knightsbridge


By combining valuable traditional relationship counselling methods with new pioneering, high impact coaching techniques Nicole helps couples to gain the insight, skills and capabilities to tackle their issues and challenges. Unique Personal Change Tools are provided to help you move on to create happiness together.

"Through this site I aim to provide you with valuable tips that will help you overcome your relationship problems and help you to create the relationship that is fulfilling for you both."

If you think you may need more help to get you on the right track and would like to book a private session, please contact Nicole on couplescoaching@gmail.com or phone us on 07900 904 465


ABOUT NICOLE

Nicole has been coaching and helping couples to overcome major challenges and create fulfilling lives for over 10 years. She is trained with Relate and she has a Masters degree in Personal Change Management and Coaching. She is trained and licensed in the highly acclaimed SDI Conflict Awareness Theory which helps couples understand what creates conflict between them and provides the tools to avoid and manage conflict. She is a full member of the Association for Coaching and has total commitment to helping the couples she works with move on to a happy and fulfilling future.







THE COUPLES COACHING PROCESS

The 5 step CATCH process to happy relationships


The key principle of the CATCH process is that you catch your relationship issues early. The longer problems are left to fester, the more difficult it is to resolve them. The key message is 'catch it early'.

The Couples Coaching process follows 5 key steps to help you to achieve the final stage which is 'Happiness together'.

C

auses

Listen to and understanding each other. One starts off as the 'listener' and the other is the' talker'. Give each person 10 to 15 minutes to express how things are for them. The listener simply listens and can take notes if it helps. Once the talker has finished, the listener summarises back what they have understood the key points the talker is making to be.

Now swap round and repeat the process. You may need to swap round a number of times before both parties feel they have been fully understood. The aim of this stage is for both parties to feel understood and to help you as a couple to explore the root of the causes of your relationship challenges.

DON'T - INTERRUPT, DEFEND YOURSELF OR CHALLENGE WHAT THE TALKER IS SAYING! JUST LISTEN AND SUMMARISE BACK WHAT YOU HAVE UNDERSTOOD.


A

spirations

Both individuals express where and how they want the relationship to be, what their needs and expectations are to make the relationship work for them and what is their end goal? Are your end goals aligned? If not, try and come to a compromise that works for both of you.


T

ackle the barriers

What are the barriers to needs and expectations being met and aspirations being achieved? What changes do you need to make to play your part in making the relationship work? Are you prepared to make those changes? If not, can the relationship work for your partner? How can any barriers be overcome?


C

hange

Making personal changes is difficult and requires the mind to go through a process of changing habits. As we are creatures of habit, the mind automatically resists these changes and it therefore takes determination and daily practice to achieve our change goals.


H

appiness together

Once the required changes are made, the next phase is to move on to living a fulfilling, rewarding and happy marriage or relationship that is sustainable. Now the changes have been made and the challenges and barriers to happiness removed, you can focus on the aspirational elements of your relationship. Agree specific aspirational goals together and write them down. Create joint Personal Change Tools to help you achieve your goals and make a commitment to each other to use the tools as prescribed.


If you've got this far, congratulations! You're well on your way to a happy, fulfilling future together. If you have had difficulty at any of these stages and would like private help to support you through them, you can contact Nicole on: +44 (0) 7900 904 465 or couplescoaching@gmail.com



WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MARRIAGE / RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING AND COUPLES COACHING?

What is Marriage or Relationship Counselling?


Marriage or Relationship Counselling (also known as Couple Therapy) gives you equal time and attention to help you both get your side of the story across, without interruptions or rows. It helps you both to work through the causes of the challenges you're having in your relationship.


What is Couples Coaching?


Couple Coaching goes a step further. It s a unique and highly successful approach to helping couples create happy and fulfilling marriages and relationships. It combines some of the best traditional counselling and therapy skills, with leading edge coaching tools and technologies. If a couple is experiencing challenges in their relationship, it is likely that both individuals will need to make some sort of personal change to make the relationship or marriage work. As part of the Couple Coaching process, you are provided with Personal Change Tools to help you make those changes and help you transform your relationship in a sustained way. As a result, Couples Coaching usually resolves marriage or relationship problems quicker and more cost effectively.


How do we know if it's right for us?


To help you answer this question here are some of the most common reasons why clients work with Nicole:

  • A specific problem within your relationship or marriage that you want to resolve.
  • Feeling of being 'in a rut' in your relationship or marriage and want to create a happier, more fulfilling future together.
  • Outside pressures are creating problems in your relationship
  • You're finding it difficult to communicate with each other or seem to be constantly arguing.
  • You want to revitalise your relationship and create the best possible future together.
  • You have a sense you're heading for a divorce or separation if you don't get things resolved between you quickly.
  • Asking yourselves, what is marriage about? Reached a crossroads and not sure where the relationship is going.

GAY AND LESBIAN COUNSELLING AND COACHING

Gay and lesbian couples can sometimes have unique challenges that are different to those of heterosexual couples. We have extensive experience working with such couples and applies the same skills, tools and techniques as well as brining experience and understanding of the specific challenges that gay and lesbian couples face.


PRE-MARITAL COUNSELLING AND COACHING

Pre-marital and pre-relationship counselling and coaching helps you and your partner to develop and strengthen your communication skills, which may help to resolve problems you face quicker and more efficiently. It gives you an insight into the fundamental differences between you and how those differences are likely to impact on your relationship. For example, how differences create conflict without any intention on either part. Gaining this insight and understanding means you can develop the skills and techniques to avoid and manage conflict when it arises and build a stronger foundation for your future.


DIVORCE / SEPERATION COUNSELLING AND COACHING

Sometimes couples come to the conclusion that separation or divorce is the best way forward for them. In this instance, separation coaching enables couples to:


  • Be clear and confident about why you are separating.
  • Separate in an amicable way for the sake of all involved and to avoid expensive legal costs.
  • Consider the practical aspects of separation
  • Resolve and have closure with each other.
  • Establish ways to make decisions about your future.
  • Build a happy future independently.

PERSONAL CHANGE TOOLS

What are Personal Change Tools?


Personal Change Tools are tools based on techniques used in sports psychology to help athletes and sports professionals change habits and create the beliefs to improve performance.

How do they Relate to Couples?


When couples want to address challenges and improve their relationship, inevitably both parties need to make some personal changes. This doesn't mean they change their personalities or inner selves; it simply means they adapt some of their behaviours that are causing conflict, albeit (often) unintentionally.

What type of changes might a couple need to make?


There are many different scenarios and all relationships are unique. Some typical examples however might be:

  • Spending too much time outside of the relationship and not giving the relationhip the time it deserves.
  • Over-reacting to situations, perhaps caused by jealousy or particular sensitivities.
  • Not listening to each other, interrupting or shouting the other down, leaving one or both parties feeling misunderstood.
  • A mis-match in the show of affection, one party wants more affection than the other wants to give.
  • Differences in opinion in the way to bring up the children which is causing rows.
  • Over-dependance on the relationship - no life outside in a way that is causing one party to feel suffocated.
  • Lack of communication on the part of one or both parties, resulting in problems not being dealt with, festering and ultimately being blown out of all proportion.

All of these examples might require behavioural changes to solve relationship problems, however still allow fundamental personalities to remain the same.

How do Personal Change Tools work?


Through the application of counselling skills, Nicole will help you work through and understand what changes you both need to make to enable your relationship to work. She will then provide you with your own Personal Change Tools that you take away with you and work with to help you make the changes quicker and more easily. They can't work miracles, but they'll make a big difference to your future together!